


James Raises Harry

by Enchantedtalisman



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, Implied Mpreg, James Potter Raises Harry, M/M, Male Lactation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:54:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24674206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enchantedtalisman/pseuds/Enchantedtalisman
Summary: "I'm sorry James." Lily says, the last thing she says to James.James smiles feebly, it's a weak thing--barely there, and he clings to Harry's small form in his arms. Tightly but not enough to hurt his baby boy. "It's fine." He says, and feels guilt in response to the signs of guilt in Lily's expression--the crease to her eyes, the way they tear up slightly.One of the finest Wixen to come out of Hogwarts, and James has no doubt she will become something great. Even if that something great isn't a mother. Or a wife.Lily swallows tightly and doesn't touch Harry as if she thinks she's not allowed. "I do love him." She whispers. Tears start sliding down her cheeks."I would thinks so." James jokes, but his voice doesn't have the right tenor.
Relationships: Undecided
Comments: 4
Kudos: 85





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I sat on this a lot mostly just because rewriting is exhausting and also partially out of spite, but I'm not gonna get into it.
> 
> I am gonna say I still adore my fics and this one still has a place in my heart even though it's not my focus right now.
> 
> Cleaned up chapters one and two, still working on rewriting chapter three so we'll see how it goes.

"I'm sorry James." Lily says, the last thing she says to James.

James smiles feebly, it's a weak thing--barely there, and he clings to Harry's small form in his arms. Tightly but not enough to hurt his baby boy. "It's fine." He says, and feels guilt in response to the signs of guilt in Lily's expression--the crease to her eyes, the way they tear up slightly.

One of the finest Wixen to come out of Hogwarts, and James has no doubt she will become something great. Even if that something great isn't a mother. Or a wife.

Lily swallows tightly and doesn't touch Harry as if she thinks she's _not allowed_. "I do love him." She whispers. Tears start sliding down her cheeks.

"I would thinks so." James jokes, but his voice doesn't have the right tenor. Exhaustion pulls at his...everything. At his worst moments in the past week, after Harry's birth, he had wondered if perhaps he had ruined LIly. Maybe if he _hadn't_ pushed and _pushed_ about dating him she wouldn't look so bedraggled. Wouldn't have a child she's clearly not ready for; hell, that _James_ isn't ready for. Damn them for getting caught in the moment--then he catches sight of Harry's green eyes barely peeking out from his eyelids and decides he can't be angry at himself. At least not for Harry. Everything else...well.

"Stop that." Lily says, and there is that familiar fire, the strong witch that James had fallen for years ago. "I knew a hundred ways to make my point come across!" Her voice rises and then quickly lowers at a squirm from Harry, "...You pushed but you were a teenager, stop beating yourself up. We all do foolish things growing up." She doesn't mention any of her mistakes but James knows she regrets how things ended with Snape (Hell if he understands _why,_ he wasn't the sort who forgave others who called his friends slurs much less himself).

"Alright."Trying to let go is easier said than done, but the squirming, and possibly waking, Harry makes it a little easier. So, this ends a chapter in his life, but it's a new beginning. James won't let the guilt and grief that has been _Lily and James Potter_ fester against Harry James Potter.

Quiet seeps between them. The late night moon's glow glints against James' glasses. He looks at the small lawn of their--his? Lily's? ( He should really just give it to her, he has a fortune, and the least he can do for her is find her a home, even it's not here) Godric's Hallow Cottage--and he pulls Harry closer to his chest. "I..." He trails off. Saying sorry would be redundant. They have both apologized and yelled as much as they can in a weeks time. Starting that all over again is just asking for trouble.

"Be good to him." Lily finally says and without a backward glance she briskly walks down the path to the edge of the street, spins, and disappears with an almost silent _crack_.

"Guess it's just you and me, Har," James kisses Harry's forehead and the aching pain inside of him disappears, for just a moment, when Harry's eyes open and the baby gives him a bright gummy smile. His heart beats heavily in his chest and he thinks if he loved anyone, or anything more than even his Da and Papa, it would be his own son. "Let's get you a drink before bed. Just this once. We both deserve a treat." He walks into the Cottage,a nd flicks his wand at the door; more than proficient by now, ever since he learned of Lily's pregnancy, on several advanced locking charms that interconnect and make a stronger locking ward. Even a wizard of Dumbledore's caliber would need _some_ time to open the damn thing.

Ignoring the Fire Whiskey, a baby shower present from Sirius because he was just that _classy_ , is harder than James would like to admit but he has a kid to take care of. A little small thing that looks so fragile that James is terrified of his hands (almost twice the size of Harry's head) breaking him.

"Here it is." James mutters and pulls one of the bottles that Lily had graciously filled before using a spell to stop her lactation. He has already figured out what he needs to do for the wizard equivalent. _Merlin_ , but he almost wishes he had taken muggle studies, because at least Muggles have formula, all Wixen have are lactation spells for any person. Except, this is for _Harry_ so he just has to endure it.

Quickly tapping his wand against the bottle warms it to a comfortable temperature and he places the teat carefully against Harry's lips and tilts just enough so Harry won't drink too much too fast.

Harry starts suckling immediately, his pudgy hands clamping onto James' fingers with unerring accuracy.

Laughing, James kisses Harry's forehead again, and feels a bright moment of clarity form the dreary aura that still clings to him. "You are the best thing that's happened to me, Harry dear." He says to the boy who makes a harsh gurgling sound in response. Snorting, James walks into the living room and settles himself in the comfortable big armchair next to the fireplace. A silent _incendio_ starts said fireplace and he can't keep his eyes off of Harry slowly emptying the bottle.

"Just have to wait out the pain, Harry. Lils isn't ready but she loves you, you know?" James shakes his head with a ruthful smile when Harry's eyes flicker to him before returning to the bottle. "And I love you." Knowing Harry doesn't understand him doesn't stop James from rambling, "And you won't even feel her missing okay? I can be enough, right?" His voice shakes at the end and he almost drops the bottle in his effort to rub his suddenly aching forehead. He catches it and winces when Harry whimpers, "Shh, it's alright, here, see?"He places the nipple back against Harry's mouth and sighs when the boy doesn't start crying.

When the fire starts to die down and the bottle has been emptied, Harry burped, and the accompanying mess cleaned; James holds Harry close to his chest and whispers, "I promise. I'll be enough."


	2. Chapter 2

Harry is not a quiet baby.

Knowing this when there are _two_ adults in the house is very different from when there is only _one_. James has thought of asking Sirius or Remus (Never Peter, he doesn't even want to imagine what the nervous man would do around a crying child), but he can't always rely on them to be here and he isn't about to skive off on Harry.

In the following days he gets up more times than he would like in the middle of the night. There are moments when he has to send a few sharp cleaning charms across the house--sometimes _wandless_ , because of his temper.

Has he always had such a vicious temper? In the few moments of peace he has, when Harry is asleep and James is awake, he can't help but consider his sudden personality flaws. The happy memories of Hogwarts and their pranks back then do not help his sudden self-reflection.

If anything, Harry's active sleep schedule is a blessing; keeping James from falling into self-loathing or drinking to keep the self-reflection at bay. Or any other bad habit he could possibly pick up. He spends his energy instead on Harry who smiles and laughs. Eyes tracking James as if his father is the most interesting thing in the room. Every bit of James wants to become something worthwhile in his son's eyes.

Leaving Godric's Hallow is an easy decision--James doesn't want to remember the times with Lily. Especially with how many memories he's now starting to find flaws in, where he was an utter prat like she once said he was. Sure, He's become better, the Marauder's pranks had grown lighter in the aftermath of Sirius' horrible decision to use Remus' bite against Snape, but there are older memories; fourth year, and younger, that make James mentally cringe away. At least there are _some_ moments that James thinks his kindness shows; showing first years the way to the Common Room and Classes, pranking a few bullies that quickly learned to leave well enough alone, and helping tutor some of the younger years in Transfiguration.

 _Moving out_ is actually more difficult then making the decision in the first place. Harry's schedule leaves James reeling--to the point that he quits Auror work far sooner than he had intended too. He doesn't have any babysitters in mind,a nd he has no desire to start that process on as much sleep as he has (which is not a lot).

But, eventually, they leave. Everything quickly packed with James switching from magical to physical packing depending on how low his core is (who knew taking care of a child would take so much magical power?). The Cottage on the Market, and the money from the sale will go immediately to Lily's accounts at Gringotts. All boxes and items he takes shrunk properly and placed in a very thoroughly carefully Transfigured satchel that takes much longer than charming, because _Lily_ is--was, the Charms expert, to hold it all, and a broom ride to the Potter Manor.

James wants a smaller house but he can't find anything remotely feasible for the wards, the type Mad-Eye Moody would use, that needs the space a smaller house can't provide. He _needs_ to protect Harry. ( Perhaps he's a _little_ paranoid about his family dying, but considering the both of them are the last Potters, it's a valid concern, James thinks)

For the first day James sets to work cleaning one of the larger bedrooms near the garden--an easy exit that's not at the front of the house incase of emergencies. He cradles Harry who coos and watches James' spellcasting with wide eyes and waving hands. It's possibly one of the easiest days with Harry in the past two months since Lily left.

Once the bed is washed (a water spell), dried (an air drying spell that his father had taught him for his hair), James casts a few protection spells on Harry's side of the bed--he figures there's no need for a crib when magic will stop Harry from rolling and getting rolled onto. A good thing, since James moves a _lot_ during his sleep.

Harry starts crying at that point and a quick _Tempus_ shows it's late afternoon and far past the time for Harry's bottle.

Unfortunately, James has already used the last milk bottle this morning. "Shit," He winces and rocks Harry who's still sniffling, "Pretend I didn't just curse in front of you." He mutters. With his wand in hand he casts several animation charms on Harry's toys.

Harry sniffles slow when he catches sight of the toys. A good enough distraction, long enough for James to learn a whole new spell, hopefully.

Finding the book with said spell takes a while even with _Accio._ They have several dozen books that were once in the Cottage (Lily having already taken her own collection and a few from the Potter library, not that James minds), but he has it in hand and reads the different spells with quick eyes. Three spells James quickly decides not to try. He's not about to steal milk from a nursing woman, what is _wrong_ with the author of this book, James wonders, or give himself breasts, or try and conjure human milk without knowing if the conjured milk will be good for Harry. That leaves two more spells. James chooses the last one; growing mammary glands is far less of a gray moral area and it's not like James' Papa wasn't able to do the same thing. James just never thought _he_ would ever need to do so.

Then of course he has to _use_ the...lactation spell. Which is a trial and a half, James pecs _still_ hurt where he messed up the spell the first two times and grew the mammary glands behind the muscle rather than in front of them.

By then Harry is an upset mess and James is grateful when the babe latches onto his right nipple--it's a terribly weird sensation but he reminds himself that Harry needs food.

At least Harry looks content, cheeks puffed up and eyes sleepy.

"Let's not fall asleep before burping, huh, Har? We don't need a repeat of the last time." James gently nudges Harry's cheek to keep him awake. The last time he burped the kid when he had fallen asleep he had puked everything out. Neither of them had been happy about that.

Harry's eyes snap open and he grumbles but stays awake.

  
  


Potter Manor is old. Older than most Ancestral Manors considering how long the Potters have been apart of the magical community in Britain (and even longer in India). The Manor itself is made of a mixture of white and brown clay laced with magic and has very different designs and architecture based on the parts of the Manor and when they were added too. Parts, like the Master Bedroom, the small sitting room, and the dining room are the oldest with smooth magically done clay and the sitting room is more of an indoor garden.

James and Harry's rooms are more modern in parts of the Manor where there are wide arches and Mosaics on almost every window. Mismatched though it is, James loves it--except for how big everything is (even when his parents and Sirius were around it was far too empty for comfort).

But Potter Manor is old and big, both good things. The Wards are ancient which means they have been layered over and over again--normally that would diminish the magic and make it more likely to cause a cascade effect but the Potters have strengthened the base spells--incorporated new defenses, and cleaned the wards into a finely tuned web.

If James has to compare the Manor's Wards he could say they are much like Hogwarts in that almost-sentient feeling. Except that Hogwarts has hundreds of magicals feeding the wards and the Potter Manor at most had forty.

Adding to the wards is complicated because of this. Not only is Harry too young to power the wards, not that he's needed, the wards have had various Potters through the ages power them. Even with the lack of a Potter int he last three years it doesn't need more than half of James' magical core every day in the first week to top it off for another couple of years, but James _is_ the only magical adult in residence. Which means any new additions will solely be powered by the only one capable of protecting Harry.

To add to the problem, James isn't a Defense Master, or even a Transfiguration Master--the war had kept both Lily and James from continuing their future apprenticeships. His Auror duties taking even more time away from further studies.

The first thing James does after checking the wards are in good condition, is start prowling the library. Harry, by virtue of being a baby, comes along but he seems fully content to being so close to James.

James is quite happy to have his little kid with him. He has had more than his fair share of intrusive thoughts of having _more_ children. He is not sure if it is a side effect of the empty Manor, having Harry around twenty four seven, or the aching pain of knowing they are the last two Potters, but it's a ridiculous idea. James isn't _opposed_ exactly but Harry already keeps him up most nights and with their sudden move and tidying up the Manor, making meals for himself, and dealing with Gringott's as the head of the Potter family is _quite_ enough. Rather he doesn't even want to think of what wizard he would bed to even _get_ a child; and being pregnant while raising Harry alone? _No_.

Hell, James hasn't even had time to tell Dumbledore that he's quitting the Order. No way is he dying on the front lines with Harry on his lonesome. Sirius Black _is_ his godfather but James know shis best friend, and knows that whatever kills him is the first thing Sirius will think about; the loyalty is precious but also the worst possible thing in the case of Harry being the most important Potter.

So, the library. Where James starts pulling out books on Defensive spells, Charms, Dark Arts, Transfiguration (of course), and as much as James hates it, Potions. Wand at hand, it's a lot easier taking care of the books and keeping Harry in his right arm.

The kid is just as active as James was (or so his Papa and Dad once said James had too much energy some days) and he has to keep the littlest Potter in his arms if he's moving. Else he will find Harry on top of something like the fireplace (and hadn't _that_ been absolutely terrifying and exhilarating, James had yelled and well...the less said about his worst parenting moment so far the best; he had given Harry multiple hugs and kisses in recompense for making the poor baby cry; and a treat of a new wand-toy that lit up for already starting to use accidental magic).

A couch near one of the walls is good enough for a place to study. James conjures a three-wall pen, facing the couch, and settles Harry down with his new wand toy and several other toys he had accumulated through owl-order. With Harry sufficiently entertained and less likely to magic-travel, he starts on the first book.

A simple one on the basics of shielding charms. It's boring and very familiar since Auror's have to know quite a few of the shielding spells, but _having a good foundation is important_ ; James can even say the words in the exact tone of voice Professor McGonagall would.

  
  


"Harry," James is sleepy, running low on lemonade (his favorite), and has crammed as much information in his head as he can inbetween Harry-duty. Now he looked away for _one second_ , "Harry."

A warbled sound that is becoming very familiar echoes through the halls, and James scrambles towards it, further into the house. He's not sure how Harry got this far already especially just using _magic_ to get him there, but the kid is a Potter. Hoping the Manor isn't helping the little rascal is just a delusion.

Belatedly, when James is already halfway down the hall, he remembers that he's a _Wixen_ and has his own _magic_ but he's already reached a vaguely familiar room by then.

"Do," Harry says with bright mirthful eyes.

James likes to think Harry's trying to say _Da_ but he's not holding his breath. "There you are Harry." He walks in and glances around. The room is very familiar. In fact, it's his Papa and Dad's room, full to the brim with knickknacks. "I should have locked this room." He huffs at himself. Who knows what any of those devices actually do. His Papa was a Transfiguration Master after all. His Dad a Ward Master; at least a little more safe, most Ward Masters lock their designs and instruments to their magical signature for safety.

Harry grins at James cheerfully and raises his hands up.

With an exasperated shake of his head, James picks up Harry and kisses him soundly on the nose, "What am I going to do with you, Har?"

"Do," Harry murmurs and gnaws on James'shirt. The kid's only two months and a half but he's already enjoying gnawing on anything he can get his mouth on. Either he's primed to start teething and James is going to have even shorter nights making child-safe pain potions or the kid just has an oral fixation. James hopes it's the latter.

Disengaging from those thoughts, James glances around the room. While tempting to lock the room up, and keep those painful memories of his fathers' deaths locked away...James doesn't want to do that. He's had time to grieve and now he walks through the room with a small pained smile. "This was your grandfathers' room, Harry."

Harry coos at him and somehow gnaws on James' skin next.

James would grimace if he wasn't so used to it. He rubs absently at his neck with a dry part of his shirt and pats Harry's head, "I think Papa would have spoiled you just as rotten as me." He can admit that without too much of a struggle now. He had been the last Potter Heir, it's clear that he _was_ spoiled. _At least I know it, that's something_ , James thinks ruthfully. He pauses at a full length body-mirror.

On top there are countless pictures of James, Charlus, and David Potter. A few of them even move. Unfortunately not intelligent enough to know who Harry is, but James turns from the room with a desire to dig through the house. Maybe it won't be the same as showing his parents in the flesh, but there's something to be said about Portraits; an innate sense of connection, theories abound indicating how the magic inside of them is connected to the individual (Which is true, but no one quite knows _how_ ) and continues to be connected after death. James doesn't believe the latter, but it's _something_ to connect his child with his grandparents in anyway is better than nothing.

Harry clings to James' shirts and giggles at the fast pace James takes across the hall.

"Wait until you're old enough to fly with me." James chuckles, "Or maybe a sticking charm when I transform to a Stag? No, bad parenting, James." He shakes his head and grins at Harry's giggling reply.

  
  


Actually what happens is James get through two rooms and settles Harry down on a bed only for Harry to magic himself out of the room.

James follows diligently, by now they have a system, if James grabs harry too early the boy will cry and _cry,_ and it hurts neither of them to let Harry slide his adorable belly across the floor and teleport around. Just in case, James casts several protection charms on Harry when they 'play' this 'game'.

Harry is still miffed when James catches him five minutes later and refuses any and all attempts at kisses and cuddles until James let's him 'run away' again.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments, Kudos are all lovely.
> 
> As an aside;
> 
> Amal is a long standing reader since the age of thirteen; he/him pronouns, he loves anything to do with fantasy and sci fi as long as it's not painfully heteronormative/albiest/homophobic/intentionally very dark/gritty. He also has a ridiculously needy pup by the name of Little Bear.
> 
> Out of all the things Amal wants to do is put as much good into the world as he can before he meets Anubis.
> 
> You can find more of Amal's silliness/writing at;  
>  [Wordpress](https://enchantedtalisman.wordpress.com/blog/)  
> [Tumblr](https://enchantedtalisman.tumblr.com)  
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/ForlornGriffon)
> 
> ~All the love friendlies
> 
> ~~Black Lives Matter and if you don't think so please do not read or interact with my works.


End file.
